Edited Date/Time:
So I finally finished rawing and replacing the BB of a frame I'd gotten and I swapped all of my parts over, problem is that when I went to put the front end together, the lowest spacer above the top headset bearing would not fit, if I put it on it would make it so the dust cover was like 10mm above the frame, I don't know why it wouldn't fit I tried over and over and could not seat it! So I just went ahead and used *only* the spacer above it - the one with the notch cut out of it - and that's all I've got there, it feels solid but am afraid of damaging my headset and/or headtube!
I took some pictures to show how I *think* it should be assembled (ie showing the 3 pieces I expected to go on my steer tube between the frame and the stem, the upper headset bearing *then* thick spacer *then* notched-spacer *then* dust cap, I put descriptions on the pics to be clear what I mean (the pics are of spare parts, my bike is assembled now and the dust cap is sitting at its normal ~1mm from the headtube, the bike rides well and steering feels solid) Here's the pics with descriptions in an imgur album:
http://imgur.com/a/8ZTst