Very disappointed with myself. Time to quit?

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9/9/2019 4:17 AM

Hello everyone,

probably this topic should be made more in a psychologist forum rather than a bmx one.
I would like to share my feeling with you hoping that someone will be able to give me some tip.

I am 29 years old and I ve started riding bmx when I was 20.
When I have started, there were not more than 20 riders in my city and the strongest was able to do 360 bar and 360 whip, which nowdays are not so impressive anymore.

I have always enjoying ride bmx with my friends and when I had time after school or work, I have always took a chance for going outside and riding.

Year by year the people start riding bmx in my country grow a lots, also thanks to my channel that I have decided to open 3 years ago. I have started with 20 subscribers and now I have 55k.

I have opened the channel for the purpose of doing tutorial in my language (italian) as mostly on the web are in english and people couldn't understand.

One thing that I have really hated in the past and is getting worst now is watching kids or teenager start bmx and becomes better than me in 3 years or less.
The last few months I have spent lots of energies trying whip and I still can not get them.

I used to do barspins and 180 bar but in the last few months I am scared to throw them and I am feeling like I am falling in a loop where things get worst.

It is just me or maybe 29years old is too much for riding? I am really upset and angry with myself. Yesterday I went in the skatepark and I didn't want to talk with anyone. It's hard time for me.

But when in the beginning I have seen only few people becoming better than me, now it seems that all of them are becoming better.
Also, having a youtube channel, it's a stress. You feel pressure from the people, they want to see improvement from me but they cannot see any. Few people also reported me that some guys speak bad about me saying that I am still scared to throw barspins after 9 years..

I really love riding bmx but from the other side I hate to see people make progress or getting tricks easier than me.

What do you think?

Mattia

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9/9/2019 5:39 AM
Edited Date/Time: 9/9/2019 5:41 AM

I’m nearly 37 and still scared to throw bars. If you’re having fun, who cares? Bmx should lead to enjoyment, not stress. I can’t give you any real advice other than to tell you not to worry about what everyone else is doing, and enjoy your time on your bike.

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9/9/2019 6:25 AM

if you're not having fun, then yes quit. that's how you get hurt. nothing wrong with taking breaks.

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fack off

9/9/2019 6:30 AM

The main thing I would say is to stop pressuring yourself to progress. There’s a fine line between motivating yourself and pressuring yourself.

Let me give you an example from my own recent experience : I went to an airbag ramp to try some backflips. It went ok. The next day, I went to a park with a resi ramp to try backflips for "real". It was scary but I sent it because I was motivated and I felt it. I landed a lot of them and felt quite good with mysefl. Then the same day, I tried to do it on a "real", non-resi ramp. I couldn’t send it, I didn’t even try. I didn’t feel confident enough.

Now, coming back from that day, I didn’t think "man you suck, you have no balls, can’t even backflip a real ramp when 12 yo kids are doing it!". That would be pressuring myself to progress. I was motivated to do backflips, I kinda did but not fully. But it’s ok, I’m not gonna lose sleep over it. I had a fun session.

You should strive to try new things and improve, but not actually worry about whether you’ve actually improved or not when the session ends. In my experience, even in shit sessions, you actually get something out of it, even if it doesn’t feel like it.


You may also want to try to take a short break from BMX (a few weeks at least). Just to calm down and realize it’s not all that important.

Also, don’t downplay your level or overestimate the level of other people. You say 360 bars and 360 whips are not impressive anymore, which is true if you’re watching pro clips. But I can guarantee you that less than 5% (probably even less than this) of people riding BMX can do a 360 whip. Lots of people can’t even barspin or tailwhip at all.

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9/9/2019 6:35 AM
Edited Date/Time: 9/9/2019 6:44 AM

I feel like Im in a bit of a dry spell myself, I started riding late at 28yrs in the winter and I just turned 31 this July. I have nowhere the experience you do but I can say I am much better than I was and I can roll up to any street spot or skatepark and have something on lock and ideas that are within my ability for what I don't have dialed in just yet.

I seem to be stuck on 360's right now, flat and flyout. I end up focusing on those variations and although I can get them eventually (did 7 back to back one occasion sometimes I walk away from a session dissapointed in myself. I have to literally tell myself I did a good job and think back a while and realize just a couple weeks ago I wasnt even mentally ready to try them.

You will lose tricks, you will gain new ones, I think thats just the name of the game. It sucks sometimes but do what you can and try not to focus on the negatives, we are all just doing this for our own entertainment and its just a bonus to be able to share our experiences with others.

As previous users have said, it's all about fun. If you are not enjoying yourself take a break, dont be rash and start selling all your stuff. Keep it on the backburner, then when youre ready for beef stew...chow time! Lol

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9/9/2019 6:52 AM

Sounds like you might have a couple of things at play here... the youtube channel is obviously a big factor, so if you strip that away.... do you still ENJOY riding.. when it is just you and your bike, are you happy?

Like others say, stop pressuring yourself.. if financially you can drop the youtube channel (or perhaps get other people contributing tutorials?) then do it... just take it back to basics.

I get the pressure you are under, hope you get it sorted...

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9/9/2019 7:01 AM

I started when I was around 15. I got pretty good, at least for my local scene, by the time I was 18. Thats when i was feeling pressure and was getting angry at myself for not progressing enough. I ended up quitting. Sold all my stuff and totally cut BMX out of my life. Biggest regret ever. Im 22 now and just got back on the bike. Im not telling you not to quit, do what you enjoy, but stop putting so much pressure on yourself. Just have a good time. Of course learning tricks is fun and exciting but don't stress out over it. Hope this helps

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9/9/2019 7:31 AM

38 here. I haven’t done a barspin for about 15 years. Ride for yourself, not to prove yourself to anyone.
I understand the pressure on your YouTube channel, but just ride and have fun. Anyone that doesn’t want to see videos of you riding how you want will probably unsub, but that doesn’t matter.
Youtubers often give up on their channel, or stop treating it like a job when what they’re doing loses interest (look at all the gamers. They’ve either gone over to streaming, or playing fortnite, just to keep earning).

You should ride because you want to, not to live up to others expectations. And you should treat YouTube the same, do it because you want to

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9/9/2019 7:32 AM

I grew up riding bmx in the 80s and trying to be crue jones. I rode till I was 18 and gave it up for the next 22 years. Until my son expressed interest and I built him a bike. The build reminded me how much I loved riding and so I built myself a bike. Now I'm 41 and love it just as much as when I was a kid. Of course, things hurt more and I dont heal as fast as I use to but I'm happy to be riding with my son doing simple things like double peg grinds and feebles. These tricks aren't impressive in the least but I'm enjoying myself.

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9/9/2019 8:24 AM

The worst thing you can do in life, is compare yourself to others. Don’t worry about what others can do, there’s always someone better than you, richer than you, better looking etc etc. its harder now with social media, and half of that is just showing you the best parts of peoples lives and ignoring the rest! The moment you can forget about what other people think, or thinking that you should be able to do or have X and Y, you’ll start to enjoy life and riding for what it is. Fun! and just focus on being the best person you can be in Life! Can’t ask for anymore than that!

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9/9/2019 9:49 AM

As long as you find enjoyment, that’s all that matters.

Started riding when I was around 14, I’m 19 now. Haven’t really progressed that much, can’t even decently hop 360 and will likely never throw bars. But progression should never be the primary goal for BMX, and for me, that’s exactly why I choose to only ride when I feel like it and don’t take anything seriously.

When fun is the focus, progression will naturally follow.

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Scooter kid trying to ride a bike. Instagram: @bmxereyn // YouTube: RH MEDIA

9/9/2019 9:58 AM

Guys...thank you so much for all your support, I didn't expect it.
What all of you say about not comparing me with others it's absolutely true. I will always find someone better than me, richer, etc but what I cannot accept is watching lot of them becoming better than me.
I mean..if there were only few buds I wouldn't care but you won't believe how it hurts watching lot of teenager starting bmx thanks to your video and in few years becoming better than you.

YT plays a big role but I don't think it's only about it.
For example, 1 month ago I went to rampworx ( it's a skatepark based in liverpool ).
I went there for landing whips.
Even If I get really closed, I couldn't land it.

I came home after 2 weeks tired and sad.
Yes, from one side I was happy to had holidays and meet other people but from the other side I wasn't. I have put so much energies on it and I couldn't do it.

How you react when you are trying a trick and you can't do it? Don't you get upset? I have been trying nose manual for ages and the improvement is very slow.

I remember the happiness of learning a trick after lots of effort..super happy!
Well, I don't think I have learnt any trick in the last year..I have got to say that things changed a lot in the last 2 years as I have started working full time and I am only training twice each week. Maybe this could play a big role...but I am not quite sure.

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9/9/2019 11:45 AM

mattiabmx wrote:

Guys...thank you so much for all your support, I didn't expect it.
What all of you say about not comparing me with others it's absolutely true. I will always find someone better than me, richer, etc but what I cannot accept is watching lot of them becoming better than me.
I mean..if there were only few buds I wouldn't care but you won't believe how it hurts watching lot of teenager starting bmx thanks to your video and in few years becoming better than you.

YT plays a big role but I don't think it's only about it.
For example, 1 month ago I went to rampworx ( it's a skatepark based in liverpool ).
I went there for landing whips.
Even If I get really closed, I couldn't land it.

I came home after 2 weeks tired and sad.
Yes, from one side I was happy to had holidays and meet other people but from the other side I wasn't. I have put so much energies on it and I couldn't do it.

How you react when you are trying a trick and you can't do it? Don't you get upset? I have been trying nose manual for ages and the improvement is very slow.

I remember the happiness of learning a trick after lots of effort..super happy!
Well, I don't think I have learnt any trick in the last year..I have got to say that things changed a lot in the last 2 years as I have started working full time and I am only training twice each week. Maybe this could play a big role...but I am not quite sure.

The upcoming generations are always better since they have had more exposure to whats possible and they can expand the knowledge base for the next generation. That is called progression among the human race. Its why your dad is blown away by video games and the internet and why its old news to you. Kids are literally one with the internet.

A nine year old scooter rider girl asked to ride my bike and cleared a table I was working on for a while before I had the balls to even try. I have been able to clear the box for a long time but she literally cleared it first try. She doesnt own a bike, she had never been to that skatepark. Its 100 percent youth and 100 percent exposure to whats been done.

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9/9/2019 11:47 AM

Take a break from caring. Ride on your own. Work on lines of tricks you can do, or variations of them instead of trying something completely new. Doing the same tricks as everyone else is boring anyway. Maybe ride street and change your bike a bit, or travel to new spots. Change something that’ll make it feel fresh and new again

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9/9/2019 12:03 PM

.pegless. wrote:

Take a break from caring. Ride on your own. Work on lines of tricks you can do, or variations of them instead of trying something completely new. Doing the same tricks as everyone else is boring anyway. Maybe ride street and change your bike a bit, or travel to new spots. Change something that’ll make it feel fresh and new again

Exactly, Don’t be a clone go out there and shred with your own style, I can’t bar spin or tail whip but because spend time doing things my way ive come up with a few unique things that make me standout in my own way

Clear your mind and go have some fun man!

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Testimony and apologies





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old edit

9/9/2019 12:06 PM

If you are that worried about keeping up and learning newer bigger tricks maybe you should think about buying yourself an airbag , that could throw some gasoline on the fire for your progression

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9/9/2019 2:57 PM

mattiabmx wrote:

Hello everyone,

probably this topic should be made more in a psychologist forum rather than a bmx one.
I would like to share my feeling with you hoping that someone will be able to give me some tip.

I am 29 years old and I ve started riding bmx when I was 20.
When I have started, there were not more than 20 riders in my city and the strongest was able to do 360 bar and 360 whip, which nowdays are not so impressive anymore.

I have always enjoying ride bmx with my friends and when I had time after school or work, I have always took a chance for going outside and riding.

Year by year the people start riding bmx in my country grow a lots, also thanks to my channel that I have decided to open 3 years ago. I have started with 20 subscribers and now I have 55k.

I have opened the channel for the purpose of doing tutorial in my language (italian) as mostly on the web are in english and people couldn't understand.

One thing that I have really hated in the past and is getting worst now is watching kids or teenager start bmx and becomes better than me in 3 years or less.
The last few months I have spent lots of energies trying whip and I still can not get them.

I used to do barspins and 180 bar but in the last few months I am scared to throw them and I am feeling like I am falling in a loop where things get worst.

It is just me or maybe 29years old is too much for riding? I am really upset and angry with myself. Yesterday I went in the skatepark and I didn't want to talk with anyone. It's hard time for me.

But when in the beginning I have seen only few people becoming better than me, now it seems that all of them are becoming better.
Also, having a youtube channel, it's a stress. You feel pressure from the people, they want to see improvement from me but they cannot see any. Few people also reported me that some guys speak bad about me saying that I am still scared to throw barspins after 9 years..

I really love riding bmx but from the other side I hate to see people make progress or getting tricks easier than me.

What do you think?

Mattia

Not to brag but I am bmxing since christmas and I super close to landing a 360. (

). But you know I "feel" like its rad that I am progressing this fast. I am motivated to progress. other people dont progress so fast because they don't ride as much as I do. Also I have to say back in the day less people knew how to ride good. But I managed to find some really good people who could 360 bar when I could only do a hop. They helped me so much!!! They are now really close friends of mine and we try to ride almsot everyday. As long as you are having fun you shouldnt feel bad about your slow progression. Like who cares. Even if i wasnt where i am now i'd still enjoy riding my bike.
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9/9/2019 4:29 PM

Don’t be a wanker, ride for yourself. It’s beautiful that you get angry cause you want to be better but don’t beat yourself like that. Stay safe and ride every chance you get.

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9/10/2019 2:02 AM

You may need a little reality check cause 29 is still quite young, especially if you're fit.

Unless you have an injury or something else in your life really holding you back from riding, then no way should you consider giving it up. You will regret it in years to come if you give up now.

Who cares what tricks are impressive, just enjoy it while you can cause life is short.

Personally I have no interest in watching over the top park tricks (and not cause I am jealous) but I guess cause it all starts to look pretty clinical. But hey if that is what the circus show riding is all about then good for them.

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9/10/2019 9:48 AM

I don’t intend to sound aggressive, but if your main source of disappointment is watching those who are younger than you ride better than you, I think you needa step back and look at the bigger picture.

In every aspect of life, someone will be able to perform something better than you. Maybe they’re naturally talented, maybe they worked harder to get to where they are, but either way, you simply must accept it.

You said you created your YouTube channel for the purposes of making BMX video tutorials for people who primarily speak your language, and it seems to be working. Yet, you are unhappy that people are learning and progressing by watching your videos? Something doesn’t add up, just ride and have fun man.

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Scooter kid trying to ride a bike. Instagram: @bmxereyn // YouTube: RH MEDIA

9/14/2019 4:21 PM

Just ride for yourself and have fun. I started when I was 14. Learned flips, whips and bars. Traveled and did bmx shows around the US. Got a free felt franchise killer for being cool. Anyway got ran over on my motorcycle got real messed up and had to quit riding and gained 100 lbs. 6 years later I had a 3yr old son who loves bmx and it made me build up another bmx bike. I still backflip but I’m just scared to throw whips even though I’m 99% sure I’d land it first try. But I’m not stressing. I love bmx and being back on my bike is the best thing ever.

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9/15/2019 3:20 PM

I’ve been riding for 12 years. I’ve lost more tricks than I can currently do, but riding is still just as fun as it ever was. In my opinion, the key to longevity in BMX is finding your niche; finding the things that feel good and give you gratification every session. Progression is cool, but it doesn’t have to be a new trick all the time. I work on new lines at the bowl, going higher, landing smoother, clicking things a little more. If it makes you happy, do it; but if it doesn’t then jump ship.

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9/15/2019 6:29 PM

If you *genuinely) "hate to see other people progress easier than you", yes quit.

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9/24/2019 12:41 AM

Hello guys,

thank you so much for your support.
You have been awesome with me and I didn't expect so much understanding about my feeling.

On saturday I have dislocated my shoulder trying whip. I fell over the bike and I put my right arm in a wrong way, happens..
I think I won't be able to ride for a while.

See you soon guys!!


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9/24/2019 1:15 AM

mattiabmx wrote:

Hello guys,

thank you so much for your support.
You have been awesome with me and I didn't expect so much understanding about my feeling.

On saturday I have dislocated my shoulder trying whip. I fell over the bike and I put my right arm in a wrong way, happens..
I think I won't be able to ride for a while.

See you soon guys!!


Hopefully your recovery time will make you want to ride more. I haven’t ridden much at all this year. I just couldn’t be bothered, and found new interests. Plus I hurt my foot a few months ago and it still isn’t right. But taking a break is making me want to ride again. Just don’t put pressure on yourself. Don’t have expectations, just ride

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9/24/2019 5:04 AM

I'm 33 years old and have been riding 20 years now.

I slowed down, and rather than be upset that others might be "better" than me, I tell myself they have the time, the lack of fear, and the physical ability (due to not having ridden for 20 years-it takes its toll on you).

They also (in many cases) lack the fundamental skills from early riding-I've seen kids crank out flairs, flipwhips and double trucks, but they struggle with a 360 on flat ground, or can't fakie at all.

Everyone learns at a different pace too. Some of those kids live next to the park, or have their own ramps, and have ZERO responsibilities. It's easy to learn when you have minimal fear and access to great stuff to ride all the time.

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"Hey anybody ever make that mistake like right when you wake up in the morning and you believe in yourself?" -Kyle Kinane

"BIKES!" -Tom Segura

9/24/2019 12:54 PM

I've been riding (more or less) 10 years and I fuckin suck man. I never cared too much about learning tricks, just getting out there and shredding some street. Never really spent a lot of time at spots, just like ripping around. I can do all the basics, and hop super high. But that's about it, no barspins, tailwhips, etc. Never will. I mainly ride MTB only now but the bmx machine sees action on a nice sunny day I don't feel like heading to some trails, or a friend wants to visit a nice park. It's just a good time man, no need to be all wrapped up in the skill perspective of things

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Refs: Future FBM, Warchol2 WtfKennethXp Riversiderider TCbmx Riversiderider JakeSalbert

9/25/2019 12:10 PM

If it isn't fun, don't do it. There are a million things to do on and off the bike.

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None of it matters when you are actually riding the bike.

9/26/2019 3:29 PM

I have been in a similar place myself.

You can ask yourself: If you were alone with friends and felt no judgement from any outside source (other than peer encouragement to pump each other up and progress) would you enjoy the feeling of riding?

I'm 37 and will never do a barspin or tailwhip. The only thing I care about is the feeling of flow and fluidity -- Chase Hawk is who I envision every time I step onto my bike.

In terms of being discouraged, many of the responses here corroborate your sentiment. I rode from age 5 to 22 then quit for no reason. Some of my riding buddies back in the day were Matty Aquizap and Aaron Smith. When I got back into BMX at age 35 I was incredibly frustrated and angry at myself for quitting for 13 years (especially seeing where Matty and Aaron progressed to). After about a year of riding I had to let go of the anger and just enjoy the incredible feeling of riding a bike.

Hope your shoulder heals quickly.

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9/27/2019 5:06 AM
Edited Date/Time: 9/27/2019 5:10 AM

Update for me: I spent most of my summer getting ready to move to a new house, and our local park was torn down to build a Costco and eventually a new park. The new park concrete started up a week ago-it will be done when snow flies. As a result, I rode about 4, maybe 5 times this summer.

The new town I am in has a tiny little pre-fab style park (it was made at a local welding place and is 100% metal) and I have tinkered on it like 3 times.

One of those sessions I learned a vertical smith to fakie on a side railing of the quarter. STOKED. I still can't stall the quarter or even ride up it and stay on the bike (it's super weird and hard to explain-the ramps have adjustable feet for leveling-kinda like a stove-and they are too high so there is a NASTY bump at the bottom and I absolutely plan to adjust them).

Also cranked a 900 tire tap on a wedge box thing. It was rad. Toying with a 540 tap to fakie double peg over it too. Did a bunch of abubaca on a wedge to fakie double pegger down a box too.

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"Hey anybody ever make that mistake like right when you wake up in the morning and you believe in yourself?" -Kyle Kinane

"BIKES!" -Tom Segura