My dog died because of me - sort of

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10/1/2018 11:47 PM

Actually it was my gf's dog but I considered her as my own.

This was Gala:


She had a rough start in life, being found in 2 plastic bags, left to die asphyxiated.
Luckily, my gf found her and cared for her to the best of her abilities (she herself going through a rough patch) and even though the vets didn't give little Gala too many chances to survive...she did it!
This is how she looked when she was found:


Fast forward 3 months, my gf had to go in Spain for 3 months and didn't know what to do with Gala.
She was thinking about getting her to her grandmother at the countryside...but didn't have the time to make the trip.
That's when I offered to keep Gala for the 3 months - after talking with my mother first, as we also live in an apartment.

The day came and Gala came to be in my care.
I have to tell you that she was very attached to my gf and was heartbreaking to take her away. But in no time she became accustomed with me as well.

The first 2 days were a nightmare as I was not prepared to have a dog.
But after I got some (a lot) of supplies from the pet store things got better and me and Gala started to get along quite fine - sure, my life was still a mess, but that's on me

Now I have to tell you, Gala was a kinda special dog, very shy in public, didn't like other dogs and she loved to climb onto benches:


But at home she was like a tasmanian devil full of energy!
She would always chew my arms and legs ... and everything else but it was no bother for me as I became quite attached to her and I understood that's what pups do at that age.

I cared deeply for Gala, got her to the vets to get her shots and medical checkup, always making sure she's comfortable, safe and happy.

Gala was taking a toll on our lives tho, and I tried to keep this toll contained to my room...but it was impossible.
So after not even a month, my mum say enough.
Gala had to leave...at my gf's grandmother, after all, that's where she was going to go when my gf returned.

But I didn't want this because I knew that there she will be kept chained outside
So I tried to get 1 more week with her, to find her a family who would love her and care for her properly.
But my gf said no. She didn't want anybody else to have Gala and abandon her when they see how hard she was to manage.

I tried to talk her out of it but no was no, so, after the week passed I started my last trip with Gala
It was hearth wrenching, all throughout the road, and the moment when I said goodbye to her...it felt like someone crushed my heart in a vice.

When I got home I swore I'll get Gala back, and surprisingly, my mom had a change of heart too - she wanted Gala back and she felt guilty because she told me to take her away. But we had to make some changes to our house to make it Galaproof.

I told that to my gf but she said no, we can't move the dog forward and backward as we please and that she would stay at her grandma.

I was bummed but I knew that I can convince her to give Gala back to me, when she comes back from Spain.
After all there were only a couple of months left and I still had to restructure the house, so this was like a perfect situation!

I made a plan and counted the days until I'll bring her back.

Little did I know that on the 27th of September, Gala died alone, scared and chained, at only 7 months of age
My gf called me on the 29th to tell me, that's when she found out also.
They say that it was a sudden death and maybe it was a virus...but no other details.

Ever since I am a shipwreck...

It hurts like hell.
First there is the guilt of knowing that if I had gone to get her sooner she would still be alive. Of if I would have stood up to both my mum and gf and said NO, Gala will not leave, No Gala will come back to me ... she would still be alive
Then it's the circumstances that I left her - that scene will haunt me for the rest of my life
And finally is the fact poor little Gala spent the last 2 months of her life chained, unhappy and died alone and scared with nobody to comfort her.

She didn't deserve this! She was truly an innocent soul who managed to survive the criminal intentions of a heinous person ... only to die 7 months later.
She deserved every little bit to have a long and happy life, surrounded by people who loved her.

Now, I am a rational person, I know that there is no afterlife, no soul, that we are just machines run by electrochemical reactions in our brains, and in the end nothing really maters in this indifferent universe.

But little Gala's sad story just tears me apart ever since that fateful day and I don't know what to do

If anyone of you guys have gone through this ... does it get better?



If you had the patience to read it this far, I thank you!





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10/2/2018 6:11 AM

It sucks. Death always sucks. There's no other way to put it. It will get better though. With time, everything does find a way to get better.

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Hey, I'm trying!
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10/2/2018 5:12 PM

JoeyJoeJoe wrote:

It sucks. Death always sucks. There's no other way to put it. It will get better though. With time, everything does find a way to get better.

In the words of the great Beric,

">death is the enemy

Thank man!
Hope you're right and that it will get better.
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10/2/2018 11:10 PM

So sorry to hear this, dogs are awesome!
When I was younger we had a dog that was a bit troubled (3 dogs attacked him when he was a puppy. And ever since then he was extremely aggressive to other dogs, and cats). We had him for 10 years, then my mum had him put down. I was upset, but at only 10 years I think I was more angry at my mum at the time. I still think about max, he was cool.

But now I'm a proper grown up, I have my own dog she's called deefa, and she's the raddest dog ever! All puppies are hard work, deefa is nearly 1 year old, and still not very obedient. Especially when out on a walk.

This legitimately bought a tear to my eye.
But it's not your fault. Especially if it was a virus or something. Things just happen sometimes.

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10/3/2018 2:56 AM

grumpySteve wrote:

So sorry to hear this, dogs are awesome!
When I was younger we had a dog that was a bit troubled (3 dogs attacked him when he was a puppy. And ever since then he was extremely aggressive to other dogs, and cats). We had him for 10 years, then my mum had him put down. I was upset, but at only 10 years I think I was more angry at my mum at the time. I still think about max, he was cool.

But now I'm a proper grown up, I have my own dog she's called deefa, and she's the raddest dog ever! All puppies are hard work, deefa is nearly 1 year old, and still not very obedient. Especially when out on a walk.

This legitimately bought a tear to my eye.
But it's not your fault. Especially if it was a virus or something. Things just happen sometimes.

Thanks man!
Yes they are awesome! And when I'll move to a house with a yard (a big yard) I plan on rescuing as many as I can!

And yeah, they are hard work, and the walking part is tough sometimes, but it's also part of their charm

Hope your Deefa will have a long, happy and healthy life at your side! ^_^
Do you take her on rides? Like in a special backpack or something?


I was reading something about dogs that was saying that they don't experience sickness the same way we do, with expectations to get better soon and stuff. That they only experience the present moment, which is painful. Thus, if there is no hope for the dog to heal it's better to spare him the suffering. So your mom might have made the hard but right decision.

I try to tell myself that, but I know it was at least partially.

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10/3/2018 11:47 AM

grumpySteve wrote:

So sorry to hear this, dogs are awesome!
When I was younger we had a dog that was a bit troubled (3 dogs attacked him when he was a puppy. And ever since then he was extremely aggressive to other dogs, and cats). We had him for 10 years, then my mum had him put down. I was upset, but at only 10 years I think I was more angry at my mum at the time. I still think about max, he was cool.

But now I'm a proper grown up, I have my own dog she's called deefa, and she's the raddest dog ever! All puppies are hard work, deefa is nearly 1 year old, and still not very obedient. Especially when out on a walk.

This legitimately bought a tear to my eye.
But it's not your fault. Especially if it was a virus or something. Things just happen sometimes.

am-shaegar wrote:

Thanks man!
Yes they are awesome! And when I'll move to a house with a yard (a big yard) I plan on rescuing as many as I can!

And yeah, they are hard work, and the walking part is tough sometimes, but it's also part of their charm

Hope your Deefa will have a long, happy and healthy life at your side! ^_^
Do you take her on rides? Like in a special backpack or something?


I was reading something about dogs that was saying that they don't experience sickness the same way we do, with expectations to get better soon and stuff. That they only experience the present moment, which is painful. Thus, if there is no hope for the dog to heal it's better to spare him the suffering. So your mom might have made the hard but right decision.

I try to tell myself that, but I know it was at least partially.

Deefa's a mastiff cross and weighs 30kgs already haha. She pulls a lot on the lead and is a bit of a nightmare when out to be honest. We have a dog park only 5 minutes walk away though so I take her there every day to burn some energy off. It's weird because she's really well behaved at home (but very spoilt!), but the moment we get outside she's a pain in the ass and doesn't listen!
She's pretty big already, but still thinks and acts like a little puppy. She's rad!

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10/4/2018 4:10 AM

Hahaa! yeah, no backpack riding

Well, if I had to pick, I'd pick well behaved at home and crazy outside

She's a sweetheart ^_^

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11/14/2018 3:05 AM

This really sucks man and I am sorry for you, but there's nothing to do about it. I don't blame you for it, your mother and your GF were both pushing on you and sometimes you can't go against everyone, you had to just give in at that point, and what happened after was out of your hands and control.

She might be gone now, but know that in her short life, the time you spent with her was a big amount, a dedication you took to make her happy and safe, and that portion of her life will always belong to you and how you made it better for her, about how you made her feel loved and at home.

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Everyone has to start somewhere!

11/27/2018 2:36 AM

This is very distressing. Is there a thick burial? I used to have a puppy that I have been with for more than ten years.

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12/11/2018 3:38 PM

That sucks hope the best for you. I hope my dog lives for at least another couple years. He's 8ish and lives outside (he has a dog house though) I do believe there is an after life, a book can't write itself, dna can't write itself either.

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12/12/2018 4:23 AM

Fossa wrote:

This really sucks man and I am sorry for you, but there's nothing to do about it. I don't blame you for it, your mother and your GF were both pushing on you and sometimes you can't go against everyone, you had to just give in at that point, and what happened after was out of your hands and control.

She might be gone now, but know that in her short life, the time you spent with her was a big amount, a dedication you took to make her happy and safe, and that portion of her life will always belong to you and how you made it better for her, about how you made her feel loved and at home.

Thanks man! Your words bring me comfort ^_^

It has gotten a little better now, except for the occasional findings of her chewed up bones and the questions from my mom about her ( I couldn't tell her she died because she would be devastated).
But I will always live with the regret of not being more decisive and responsible.

I'll always miss the little buddy and I'll hang on those moments as long as my memory helps me.

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12/12/2018 4:28 AM

huangzici wrote:

This is very distressing. Is there a thick burial? I used to have a puppy that I have been with for more than ten years.

They buried her in the yard.
All that I have left of her is her baby tooth that she lost when she was at my house and some hair that was left on the comb I used to brush her fur, that luckily I didn't get to throw out.

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12/12/2018 4:32 AM

Orlando F wrote:

That sucks hope the best for you. I hope my dog lives for at least another couple years. He's 8ish and lives outside (he has a dog house though) I do believe there is an after life, a book can't write itself, dna can't write itself either.

Cherish him and take good care of him. Once they are gone, the fact that they lived a good and happy live will bring you some comfort and help you through the pain.

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1/15/2019 9:45 AM

I keep cats only now. I need asshole animals in my life right now. Dogs have broken my heart too much. I still have all their collars at my moms house.

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1/29/2019 11:18 PM

Thats sad man...Im sorry this happened.

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1/30/2019 4:01 AM

Bulletpup wrote:

Thats sad man...Im sorry this happened.

Thanks man!
Me too, everyday
I am in the process of adopting a dog or fostering.
But it's hard, it feels like I am betraying her memory and moving on...

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1/30/2019 4:02 AM

thairishguy wrote:

I keep cats only now. I need asshole animals in my life right now. Dogs have broken my heart too much. I still have all their collars at my moms house.

Sad thing is that those cats will break your heart too

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