After all that we just did, i didn't know what i had in store for me. All i knew was high school should be a breeze this year because Senior year no one gives a fuck. Her and I are in our Madrigal Choir together, i had lead roles in all the plays that year, and it was set up to be great. I was stoked.
So i get the news probably by like fall that year that they were thinking about moving. I was not happy about this. I had turned this caterpillar of a shy girl into the social butterfly she had become. I was so proud of how i helped her spiritually and mentally and physically. I even helped her through an eating disorder. (This parental abuse had a profound effect on her entirety) She was even scared of scissors when i met her. So It was a 50/50 chance on what could happen to her moving. I loved this girl for sure. I kept hoping to myself that it wouldn't happen. But then come Christmas Time, Her family was taking a 3 week long trip to Vegas. On that trip she barely texted me and i had no clue WTF was happening. So you know, whatever. She comes back with different hair. She like died part of it another color which was strange because she was so particular about her hair. She was really cold towards me and i had not a clue why. For weeks it went on like that and i was pissed. But instead of just being like "fuck you, we are done." i got to the bottom of it. They went to Vegas to start finding a place to live. I was seriously sad about this and it explained why she had been so strange towards me.
By that point i realized our time was extremely limited. She was set to move in the summer. I made her realize that she better enjoy this relationship while it was still here instead of cutting it off early.
After that we hit a sexual floodgate and kinda got crazy. Staying up all night talking dirty, planning sexual things (in school might i add (smug face)), and it was AWESOME. We were on the same page and i was really surprised it happened so fast. It went from 0-100 in a second. haha i'm not gonna tell you all that we did because thats fucked up, lets just say it was AMAZING and i would do it a billion times if i could. My senior year was coming to an end. I barely ever had to stay in class so we spent lots of time together.
Idk if you know the song but we sang "Stay" by Rihanna and some other dude for the talent show, we were in the play together and she came to see my other plays. I was at the best point in my life. Never had everything actually been going right before like it did. I had solos in Choir, i was getting it, i was in love, and i was happy. My depression that i suffered from for so many years was gone. But on closing night of the show I was laying outside on the hot stone, it being almost summer again, she was laying there with me. It was a beautiful day. And as if the weather knew, the thunder started and then the rain. All at once. Hail and rain and i just laid there. I never cried like i had that day. It was a painful and deep cry. Making me realize that everything i had worked for was soon to be gone.
Graduation came. It was meh. Idc i kinda hated the school. but i had made some good friends that i knew i wouldn't see ever again. Prom came. It was wild and rave-like. I knew that was the last time i would see her like that so i made the best of it. I had a trip to London for graduation so i went there and all. it was pretty neat. I knew that i would have trouble contacting her while i was there. So I saw her one last time. Went to her house because by this point her family knew me pretty well. They liked me and i'd like to think they knew i was dating her because of all the presents and dances we went to. And (expensive) dates. They grew to like me somewhat. I said goodbye and hugged her. She didn't want to break up, and really, i wish we didn't. But it is better to have loved and let go than to have loved and clung on and let it get bad. So if you made it to this point in this story, good for you. We broke up June 29th. I was numb for a long time. It hurt me so bad i couldn't feel emotions. So BMX has been in the background to all this. And i had been progressing and enjoying it all. I eventually tried to jump off a giant roof that had no run up and i got hurt pretty bad, i have the scar to prove it. Its a 6 inch scar on my shin. Forever reminding me of her, of what happens when you ignore emotion. I hurt my foot pretty bad too and even every step i take i feel that pain, but not like you might think.
Sure, it sucks that i don't still have that relationship. But it is a great memory and i learned a lot. Love is a powerful thing dude. It's the deepest of all the feelings humans are capable of, it's illogical and at the same time super necessary. You can't have life without death, and you can't have love without an end. Human life has changed a lot over the years. Making love ever more difficult to find. But as a friend, and a fellow BMXer, don't worry, dude. That what you once shared is a part of you. And from that you can grow a new relationship.
The moral of this story, even though so many stories these days lack morality, this is what you can draw from it;
Love is a beautiful thing. And without love, there is no Death, nothing. All life would lack meaning. Everyone would just die and it'd end. Count yourself lucky, as Shakespeare once said: It is better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all.
Thanks for reading. I hope it helped. I wish someone coulda done this for me when i was where you are. Cheers.
References: OneGuyIlluminatiEye, robinson79, Brian Griffin, The Horror Contact, StoreBoughtChild, C_Johnsonbmx, dkTechEthan, etc.
